I am lost in space, my own space that is. Work is numbing in this recession, there is nothing passionate to be found in the design world of a tumbling economy. I could possibly be staring into it too deeply and not seeing the opportunities. Money seems to prevail all when you have a house and a family to be fed.
It’s lonely working in your own office with no clients calling, no visitors stirring up the design process, basically nothing to design, and your only friends are the solicitors and collection agencies. There has got to be more to this than I am seeing. How do I turn it around and want to run to my office because I am so excited for the day? I could design anything, write a book, take photos, etc. but I won’t be getting paid for it. I am sick and tired of the ho-hum life of a routine marriage and family life. I have a traveler’s soul that needs to wander and create. I am no soccer mom, I am no housewife, I am no one these days. I need more passion and challenge in my life. Spontaneity, travel, sexual encounters, challenge, education and time for myself. I don’t like sitting still, I don’t like traveling with children, I don’t like wasting away on this island of emptiness. I need a good book to read and I think its going to be either Atlas Shrugged for 500th time, some Dostoevsky or maybe I should go more erotic with Anais Nin. Anyone want to make suggestions?