Once again, I have created a stillness that is solid and seemingly unbreakable. I cannot shatter it. I continually attempt to push the stillness out, but it keeps returning. It is a thick comforting blanket that is smothering my desires. This is not a peaceful state of stillness that I long ago tried desperately to enjoy. This rigid, frightening silence reverberates through our house like a jackhammer. It is sucking all the energy and creativity right out of me. I must wrap my arms around it, embrace it and suffocate the Stillness. I have looked it in the eyes and I don’t want to see myself in it anymore.